Wednesday, January 11, 2012


I'm not normally one for noting milestones in life but this one seems to be approaching like a meteor hurtling towards an unsuspecting planet, appearing to hover in space just out of eye-sight but in reality travelling at a highly destructive speed of over 70km a second. Perhaps running along similar destructive lines, I also feel a bit like the guard at Castle Hemorrhage watching the approach of Sir Lancelot. The rather silly knight is of course representing the milestone, but with exagerrated ridiculousness. Anyhow, I turn 30 next Thursday and I'm feeling very nervoushappysadunsurecakeexcited, which I'm sure you can relate to if you have got here already.

Almost being 30 has suddenly kick started a part of my brain that I didn't know existed, I started analysing the past whilst assessing the future and worrying about the present. Previously I had been analysing my hangovers, assessing girls and not-worrying about my bank balance. Times they are a-changin'.

I have been living in Germany for two and a half years and have been questioning the move the whole time. This is not a wise thing to be doing and I should know because I just over a week away from obtaining the first part of my qualifications in being wiser than other people. I spent most of the first year working in an Irish pub and generally having a whale of a time, but I was constantly sad that I did not have enough resources to persue my first love of international travel. I resolved that particular problem by getting a 'normal' job and earning enough to buy lovely, convenient, carbon-emitting flights to cities I had never been to before. I took a long-awaited three week break in September of 2011 and travelled to Canadia & the United S of A, then promptly spent the subsequent few months in a state of depression after having such a mind-blowingly great time.

Aside from the sheer friendliness I encountered between Ontario and Wyoming I relished actually speaking English again. You guys have no idea how great that language is until it's taken away from you. You can happily get by speaking English in Germany but you will not be able to use fun words like 'pompous' or expect to be understood when you give driving directions such as 'hang a left here'. You certainly can't tell jokes like "The televisions in Dubai don't show the Flintstones, but the televisions in Abu Dhabi do". Being in an English speaking country again felt like a tidal wave of relief, I was able to talk to people without worrying if I was being understood and I could speak my mind clearly without having to select the correct grammatical terms and put them in the right places whilst trying to remember the pronounciation. I did, however, have a slight problem in Kentucky...

A pretty sophomore girl leans in towards me and says, "Your accent is a complete penny-dropper". I replied with a genuinely grateful "Wow, thank you" before walking over to my friend Stewie and asking "Ummm... what's a penny-dropper?"
"Panties... she said Panty-dropper"
"Oh, great!" I said pretty quietly, not wanting a mass underwear falling-down party at that moment.

We'll see what 2012 brings eh. Onwards and upwards!