Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Smooth moves

"Why don't we crave healthy foods when we're drunk or hungover, why is it always high-calorie and high salt content foods?" I asked an argumentative looking Sud. I followed it up with an impression of myself, "I was sooo drunk last night, I can't believe I had that smoothie after the pub!"

We came up with our own theories, based only partially on fact but eventually decided that the answer would be found on the internet once we were home. Which is where we headed three pints later.

I woke in the morning displaying slight signs of a hangover, the dehydration was there along with a slight taste of dead hamster in my mouth. I set out for work and headed down the street, salivating at the numerous breakfast cafés I passed. The further I walked along the road, the stronger my cravings became - I imagined myself devouring a freshly fried piece of bacon sandwiched between two thick, white slices of bread along with a smattering of ketchup. My mind drifted and left this plain for I don't know how long before there was a 'CLANG!' as I walked straight into a metal advertising board. A slight "fuck" left my lips as I looked at the offending object, 'Take away one of our delicious smoothies' it read. I paused for a second and recalled the previous nights conversation, before I knew what I was doing I'd marched into the sandwich bar and said "One smoothie please".

As I waited for the smoothie, I recognised a local bouncer sitting at one of the tables, 'Funny' I thought, I wonder if this is a sign telling me that I'm being offered protection because of this healthy choice I'm making. I smiled slightly to myself at the outrageous thought but the smile turned to a laugh as three policemen walked in and also took a seat. Applying the same logic, this re-enforced the idea that I was on the right path. This was confirmed (no puns here) as two vicars entered the building shortly afterwards.

I sipped the smoothie as I strolled the rest of the way to work, the day seemed a little brighter and everyone seemed to be smiling. I'm looking forward to making a return trip tomorrow morning.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


In a state of restricted vocabulary and lack of imagination I sat down to to write a post about my recent weekend in the north of Wales. The post was going to be in the "We went to place A, it was awesome!" and "Place B was great too, we saw a bear!" mould, it was passable. That was until I read Cope's post about the same weekend. I realised he'd told every story that I could recall and had highlighted all my favourite parts of the evening, but that's due to the fact that he was never more than twenty metres away from me the entire time.

I suggest you take a read of his post, it's far more comprehensive than anything I could manage in between working and pretending to work at my office computer. Be sure to listen to the song 'A is for Annie'.

He did however, miss a photo opportunity when Sud received a humping by Pablo, a dog (They had both possibly consumed some of the Love Potion that was flying around). Here's a blurry picture...

(Beat this Cope)

Friday, February 13, 2009

The best valentines ever?