Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Leopard

Yesterday I had a spot, on my face!!

I'd previously never had a proper spot before and I became overly excited when I saw it in the mirror yesterday morning. My mind flashed back to all those Oxy adverts in which the girls or boys with spots suddenly became instantly attractive to the opposite sex once Oxy was applied. I often wished that I had spots too so I could apply this magical potion, go to a disco and receive loads of comments about how clear my skin was. But no, I had to have crappy non-spotty skin didn't I? Oh, how it made me bitter.

Back to yesterday, the spot was in such a position on my forehead that I knew would receive lots of Hinduism comments. That didn't bother me too much, I'd thought of that joke first so I'd be immune to it if anyone else made the same one later in the day. I happily ate my breakfast and made my way to work, sat down at my desk and waited for someone to make the first comment. I waited longer. I waited until it was time for lunch and until I couldn't bear it any more - was everyone just being polite or was the spot bigger in my mind that it was in real life? A trip to the bathroom uncovered the problem, the spot had gone - completely. My first ever real spot had lasted no longer than five hours. My first thought was that perhaps I should sell whatever secretes from my skin to the company that makes Oxy, my second was 'Oh well, let's hope I never have another'.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Philosophy and Science

Colleague: I'm going to the shops, do you want anything?
Curly: Yeah.
Colleague: What do you want?
Curly: I don't really know.
Colleague: But you want something?
Curly: Yep. It's not a Mars bar, I know that.
Colleague: That's not very helpful.
Curly: Sorry, I can't really provide more information. I want something but I don't really know what it is, it's certainly not a Mars bar though. This is a good metaphor for my life.
Colleague: Well give me a ring if you think of anything.
Curly: I wonder who I'm supposed to ring if I figure out what I want in life?
Colleague: Not me.


Colleague #2: The sun is pretty low in the sky.
Curly: The 21st December is close - the shortest day.
Colleague #2: Well, as long as the days get longer after that then I don't mind.
Curly: Err, they probably will.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Memories

The Like - What I say and what I mean
Sitting by the car park at Anderson train station, Boston, for 45mins whilst waiting for a lift out of there earlier this year.

The Prodigy - Ruff in the Jungle Bizness
Speeding along a German autobahn on a coach when I was 15, staring at the road whizzing by.

The Stereophonics,- Roll up and Shine
A German shopping mall when I was 17.

George Thorogood and the Destoyers - The Hard Stuff
Sitting on the London underground one morning this summer with the mother of all hangovers, travelling to see a gig.

Why these tunes remind me of such crap places, I have no idea.




(yes, only a month since the last post)