Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Leo Sayer

Sunday evening, Wales had overcome Scotland in Cardiff the previous day, the majority of the city's residents nursed almighty hangovers and spent the day sitting around and moaning about their aching bodies. I wasn't any different - my legs screamed whenever I used them, my brain preferred impersonating cotton-wool rather than performing powerful cognitive functions and my stomach.. well, I'd better not go into detail about my stomach. I sat down heavily on the sofa after the energy-sapping activity of switching the kettle on, housemate Becca brought over a cup of tea. "I think I'm dying" I croak, trying to get as much sympathy as possible. Becca flashes an unimpressed look - it's quite possible that she's worse off than I am. "What time did you go out?" I ask, "About nine o'clock" she replied, "You left the house at nine in the MORNING, I have no idea how you lot manage to drink for that long!" I tried to smile and shrugged my shoulders - giving the impression that I didn't have a clue how we lasted so long. In actual fact, I knew exactly how we did it - hard work, careful planning and dedication.

The art of an all-dayer:-

Sleep
Plenty of professional sportsmen and women will tell you that they prepare for an event by getting to bed early and having a good nights sleep. Despite the effort involved, the all-day drinker doesn't require such trivial things as sleep - Friday night in a pub is ideal preparation, practice if you like, for the next day. You could tuck yourself into bed with a hot drink and your favourite teddy bear at 9pm, but you'd be making a big mistake - the descent from a sparkling, early morning person into a alcohol-fuelled haze is a long way to fall - start halfway down.

Breakfast
Breakfast IS the most important meal of the day. An empty stomach in the morning will cause problems after a single drop of beer, you don't want to flake too early. Plenty of grease and salt is the key, I usually tell people that grease lines your veins which prevents alcohol being absorbed into the bloodstream. That's a lie - but it's one of those lies which, when told, has people nodding their heads in agreement (Or they laugh). A traditional English breakfast will do the trick, one cup of tea (one sugar), one can of coke and an orange juice will provide the caffeine and sugar powered oomph needed to kick off the day.

A good pub
The traditional pub will open at 11am here in the UK. A good pub will open at around 10am on special occasions (6:30am is the earliest we've managed, thank you sports events in other time zones). The pub will be completely empty, enabling to get a nice seat. Window seats (for staring out of and conversation starters) and seats with tables of suitable height (for leaning on and minimal effort pint-grabbing) are the main requirements.

The drinks
Don't be a hero and dive straight into the sambuccas or vodkas, that's just daft. Obviously only you know what you're keen on but I suggest going for something that you can take your time over, a guinness or smooth bitter. The Extra-cold innovation helps wake up that little bit quicker. Remember it's not a race, it's a marathon.

Lunch
Lunch time doesn't exist. Eat whenever you feel hungry, burgers are filling, non-messy and don't take an age to make.

Energy Levels
Watching sport will help boost adrenalin and keep you going for that little bit longer. Other adrenalin-boosting things are perfectly acceptable, you'll struggle without them.

...and finally, friends
You'll want as many of these buying rounds of drinks as possible, the more people there are in a round - the longer you can sit at the table avoiding walking. They tell you jokes, funny stories and do stupid things when they're drunk while you just sit back and enjoy. Then, when you're doing the same thing, they keep you upright and help you get through the day until it's time to finally crawl into bed.

6 Comments:

At 2:44 am, Blogger Coffee-Drinking Woman thought it was best to say...

I have a hangover, just from reading that....

 
At 4:12 pm, Blogger Wierdo thought it was best to say...

I find psyching yourself up helps.

For example, usually when I have a night out I cant drink the following day but when I know I have to (eg the Eisteddfod or a rugby weekend in Ireland) I can drink for a whole week/weekend non stop.

But then again that might be not sleeping enough to get a hangover...

 
At 8:20 pm, Blogger Clearlykels thought it was best to say...

ha ha ha!

Fabulous. Also, I find greasey food works well for a hangover and a diet coke. I always need a diet coke to start the next day.

 
At 10:49 am, Blogger Annie Rhiannon thought it was best to say...

Congrats on Wales' amazing victory Curly. I know they couldn't have done it without you.

 
At 3:38 pm, Blogger Léonie thought it was best to say...

Oh do you go to that place with the really nice sausages?!

I also think one of the most important elements is knowing you don't have anything to do the next day. Sunday drinking, whilst being tremendous fun, always seems to culminate in people skulking off, claiming an early meeting or some such nonsense. Saturdays are the best.

 
At 6:05 pm, Blogger Curly thought it was best to say...

CDW - I have just read it back to myself, and remember how I felt too.

Wierdo - That's a good tip, it's all in the mind - none of this "I'm going home early" crap

Kels - Greasy food and a DIET coke, classic! I have a couple of friends that do that, it always amuses me.

Annie - It was tough, but we made it through. I can still feel the effects!

Léonie - Funnily enough, we did! In a departure from our usual haunts. Surprise sunday sessions are the best! But you're right, people do seem to let their hair down a bit more on Saturdays.

 

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