Wednesday, September 06, 2006


You know when you get an urge to dress up in a Gorilla outfit, stay really still for hours in someone elses house then jump up and let out a mighty roar when no-one is expecting it? Well I've got that urge right now and it's bugging the hell out of me.

I haven't been up to anything mischievous recently and it's upsetting me. I haven't made fun of anyone, I haven't used the slightest bit of sarcasm and I haven't played a single practical joke. Despite this lack of self-amusement, people still think that I'm up to something. I am the owner of a smile which just suggests that I'm about to do something completely and utterly devious, which I'm not - most of the time, but you can bet your bottom dollar that I'm thinking about it.

I'm the guy that turns your cigarettes upside down in the packet while you're not looking. I'm also the guy that rings your cellphone using an anonymous number then hangs up just before you answer. I'll chat up your sister, perhaps not for any sexual reasons you understand, but because it'll piss you off. But I've not done any of that recently. That side of me is screaming to get out but the fact is, I've just been too nice and too PC. In an effort to break the cycle, during a recent conversation about global warming, I said to a mate "I'll give you £10 if you steal that womans toddler and run 100m with it" and when he declined I suggested just pushing the toddler into a puddle for a fiver. Then on Saturday night I amused myself by trying to teach a gay guy how to chat up women in bar, which was mightily entertaining. I think that he enjoyed it too so that was alright.

I think that it's all due to the fact that the majority of the people I see regularly in my life have only known me for one or two years, and in that time I've just levelled out a bit after a few years of going a bit nuts. People seem to expect you to be the same sort of person that they first met so there's no room to change dramatically. Friends I know from 3-5 years ago are fully aware what is hidden inside me and are concerned when I'm not laughing, joking or generally being a little off the wall. I don't know about you but I panic when there might be a chance of an old friend bumping into one of the latest lot - I'm often torn between the person I used to be and the person I am now. This can lead to me almost using two different languages at the same time - To one friend I might be scathing, sarcastic, and use swear-words whenever possible yet I'll turn round to the other, smile and offer them a biscuit.

You have to wonder, who is the real you?


At 5:50 pm, Blogger Annie Rhiannon thought it was best to say...

A gorilla would have been perfect at the Irish costume party!

At 7:12 pm, Blogger Clearlykels thought it was best to say...

I love the gorilla idea! Go for it.

At 1:45 am, Blogger Afe thought it was best to say...

It is interesting to observe how you act differently around other people. I guess the real you is the one you're usually trying to hide, which in your case is a man in a giant monkey suit.

At 6:02 am, Blogger Güggs thought it was best to say...

Do whatever it is in you to do! Or you'll be constipated. And that's not a good thing.

Be mischievous.

At 11:04 am, Blogger Léonie thought it was best to say...

I don't know about all this 'real you' stuff. I don't think there is an essence that you are betraying by behaving in a way that seems to contradict it. People are made up of contrasts, I reckon, and I don't think you should worry that one facet of you seems to be more prevalent recently. The fact that nice-tea-making-boy has started to show his face a bit more doesn't mean that gorilla boy is dead, perhaps just dormant. Lying, somewhat appropriately, in wait.

That said, I think you should wake him up. I'm not telling you where I live, though, I don't want any hairy shocks when I open my cupboards.

At 2:29 pm, Blogger Curly thought it was best to say...

Annie - I wish I could have been there. I also wish I had a gorilla outfit.

Kels - I might just do that you know.

Afe - The psychologists would have a field day if I ran around saying that. ESPECIALLY if I was running around when I said it.

Guggs - I'm not sure that even a suggestion of mischief would do me any good. But I might try it for old times sake. Cheers.

Léonie - Monkey boy is around, but only after a few drinks. I've not had many drinks recently. Good idea not letting me know where you live, especially now I know that it's possible to scale the wall up to your flat.

At 4:25 pm, Blogger Alina thought it was best to say...

I guess we all have this urge at times. The trick is to use it with friends you are sure will not be too shocked about it.

True, people need stability, but not to the extent of never wanting you to change. I think it's more like "he goes crazy today, he's serious and charming the other day, I just can rely on him in any of those days".:)

At 6:06 pm, Blogger NiolK thought it was best to say...

A gorrila at the Irish costume party? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

Aye I feel your pain I too am perpetually labeled as a "messer" and seem to have a naturally devious smile but I'm first to admit that it's a fucking well deserved rep and I like it. I'd rather be annoying messer than a predictable square. and yes I did just say square, thats how damn crazy I am, I mix old-timey slang with the modern shit. Stand back muthafuckaz!.

At 2:17 am, Blogger mona thought it was best to say...

The exact same thing happened to me when I went back to Montreal. My friends are used to me being pretty ...well I'm not sure what theexact word is, but perhaps "in your face" will do. I have however calmed down in the past year, and they kept asking me constantly what was solution, tell them to fuck off or give you a beer.. :) worked like a charm.
as for you, I say just act however the hell you want to act, and do what you want, if someone has a problem, just tell them too fuck off or buy you a beer :)


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