Tuesday, March 14, 2006

It's just like the old adage

Sometimes I sits and I thinks. Sometimes I just sits and think why the hell is that old woman looking at me funny from across the street? Is it because she's spotted the hole in my jeans and can somehow see my boxers? Oh no, I hope I haven't put my boxers on upside down again, that was nasty. Oh my god, she's still looking - there's definitely no-one else around here to look at. Why can't she just bugger off and feed some pigeons or whatever else mad women her age should do. Shit, I think she's waving... what the hell? Do I wave back? No! Don't! There's some normal people over there, they might catch you waving to the mad old pigeon lady - imagine the repercussions of that one. Oh crap, why didn't I sit in a different place. There's a bench just over there that looks fine - perhaps I could make a dash for it. It's closer to the old woman though...quick, think you idiot... what escape routes do you have? There's a pub behind you - get up and go inside, you can use the other exit to get away. She's stopped waving now, I hope I haven't offended her - oh crap she's crossing the road. Look at your watch, pretend you haven't seen her... crap. I don't own a watch, just pretend you do... ah, it's pretend time to go. GO GO GO. Hmm, the pub's remarkably full for a Tuesday lunchtime. NO TIME TO THINK YOU IDIOT - RUN! Make it look as though you're looking for someone though, just head for the back door. Blimey, that was close - now, back to the office. I wish mad people would stop approaching me, it's been happening all week.

9 Comments:

At 3:33 pm, Blogger Me Over Here thought it was best to say...

Now, this does not sound like the Curly that was all too eager to help little old ladies reach items off of a grocery store shelf not too long ago, does it?

Haven't you ever seen Home Alone 2: Lost in New York? The pigeon lady was a GOOD guy (girl, whatever). You just lost a very valuable ally, my friend.

 
At 3:53 pm, Blogger Curly thought it was best to say...

Meh, I'm tired. And I was just given a free sampler of the new Cino flavour Pepis Max, I felt sick.

 
At 9:21 pm, Blogger Chris Cope thought it was best to say...

Uhm, I think perhaps that lovely girl of a few days ago may not have been as lovely. And now she's chasing you through pubs.

 
At 3:33 am, Blogger Teri thought it was best to say...

I have a similar problem, only it's whenever I go out (like, a run to the store, for example) looking like crap/ just rolled out of bed/ been cleaning the house/ whatever I ALWAYS see someone I would normally love to chat with but whom I have to duck bnecause really, my first-thing-in-the-morning self shouldn't be inflected on anyone.

 
At 11:31 am, Blogger Neal thought it was best to say...

I used to think that I attract the crazies, but it turns out that I'm just surrounded by demented people therefore they have no choice but to be chummy with me.

 
At 7:28 pm, Blogger mona thought it was best to say...

it was me!!!

 
At 9:12 pm, Blogger ozstriker thought it was best to say...

you hang around with "The Phaelon's" (what the boyband would be called)
and they must be weirder than that crazy pigeon plucking breadcrum pedaling nutjob woman... especially that charlie character... he don't look to normal to me!?!

 
At 8:42 am, Blogger Astrid thought it was best to say...

Have you checked out this week's horoscope it might reveal some very useful information!

 
At 12:05 pm, Blogger Curly thought it was best to say...

Cope - It indeed could have been a case of the old goggles but I didn't fancy standing around to find out.

Teri - That's exactly what it was. When you really can't be bothered to talk to someone and it gets to the point where you try and avoid them. I was chased by a kiss-o-gram once because she saw me deiberately try and avoid her... that was a harrowing experience.

Mona - You little scoundrel! Why didn't you say so... you've aged a little..!

Oz - Agree, a bunch of lunatics. But good ones.

Astrid - This weeks horoscope read:-

With a negative aspect from the moon you should expect to feel a little low this week. However, a positive influence from the sun means that you’ll be able to deal with whatever disappointment or setback you suffer. Oh yeah, and a crazy old lady might approach you, don't trust her.

Weird!

 

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