The adventures of the young and often lucky-as-hell Curly on his way to bring down the evil dictator, locate the buried nazi gold and ultimately come face to face with the Holy Grail - Nelly Furtado. On the way I'll be perfecting my David Seaman impression and meeting as many people as possible. After that I'll go home for a nice cup of tea, and perhaps some cake too. I'm trying to give up tea but wouldn't object to a cup if a nice old lady offered - that would just be rude, wouldn't it?
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
My current inability to string too many sentences together means that I'm having to do some short-sharp blogging at the moment.
I was reading Maces' site just now, and after looking at one of his photos of a yellow bus, it reminded me that I'd not yet posted some of my pictures from Nova Scotia last year. So I've put them up here if you're REALLY interested. For a good laugh, have a read of Maces' blog too (Especially the Terror Alert Post).
I've been ultra social recently, despite claiming that I was going to give it a break until Boxing Day. Last Thursday, Andy and I had another session in Swansea. He was annoyed with me in the morning for 'making' him go out drinking... I didn't say a word. He just assumed that I'd want to.
Black Friday, was our works Christmas Lunch. If you've never experienced Black Friday before, it's usually the last Friday before Christmas where EVERYONE gives up work for the afternoon and goes out for a few cheeky drinks. We pitched ourselves in a bar on Swanseas notorious Wind Street at 1pm. We were steaming by 5pm, at 8pm I had managed to get home with a grass stain down the side of my jacket and mud all over my shoes. There isn't any grass on the way home from town.
I was extremely poorly. I got up, had a shower and got on a train to London. (doh). Clapham was the destination, old Uni mates Tash and Dan were waiting for me when I arrived - also accompanied by a double Sambucca. Ooh. We went to a bar called the 'Peoples Rubublic' in Clapham, and immediately took over the place. I was the only loud Welshman in there so I behaved like a total Superstar. The bouncer was extremely chuffed when I bought him a drink (it was cold outside) and shook my hand everytime he walked past!! I was on first name terms with the bar staff and the manger Jake was up for a chat too. Dan and myself were sick of yakking to rich kids in the bar (We noted that we didn't have to talk about ourselves at all as these people were all too happy to talk about themselves and how much they earnt) so I phoned a few friends that I knew in the area and soon enough, more people turned up including my old housemate Helen and my good friend Conor - Everyone else in the bar must have been thinking "Who IS this guy, why is everyone talking to him?"
We ended up in a club called Infernos, inside I bumped into more Cardiff folk - One particular girl, Lindsay, saw me first, grinned and just said "Bloody Hell" before walking off!
As I ended up staying near Tooting Bec I had to get back to Clapham to find my clothes from a bin outside Tashs' house (long story). For the rest of the day I just watched the Ospreys game. I was SO angry at the result, but it was good to see a niggly game on a Sunday. I missed the Scarlets match due to some small London game on instead. I'm glad I didn't see it in the end as Wasps absolutely slayed us 48-14. I caught the train back to Cardiff, on which I saw Lindsay again (Saying nothing again but shaking her head in "Oh my God, not again" fashion). I arrived in Cardiff at around 9pm. I then proceeded to head to Lloyds bar with Osian, where we stayed until 2:30am. Some of the George staff were inside too, so we all had a good laugh!
Dying a little bit.
Damn, I wrote more than I planned to. Nevermind.
Monday, December 19, 2005
America gets it in the neck again
This (right click and Save Link As...) is the audio from a taxi ride we took back in October (The background to the joke is explained in a previous post)
Hilarious, I hope it's not too offensive...
(I'm not sure if it's supported by Windows Media Player, Winamp will run it fine though*)
*Okay, so winamp might not run it either - it seems to depend on which way the wind blows... you'll figure it out I'm sure. (Try windows media player classic too as a last resort)
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Baby wants to Bleep
It's the 13th of December, the social storm that is November has finally passed us by. The Autumn Rugby Internationals and the inevitable days on end spent feeling sorry for ourselves are set aside for next year. November has been especially long this time around, as always you have such a good time and you feel your gut wrenching at the thought of not being involved it it all, thus making it last until mid-December!
I've just had a quiet weekend for the first time in a while. My friend Bleddyn has been really ill over the last couple of months (All the gory details can be found on his site) and he invited me up to Pembrokeshire to keep him company as he was feeling a million times better after his operation. We just relaxed around the house on Saturday and Sunday as Bledd was too weak to actually venture outside.
Saturday evening my family happened to be in St.Davids so I went out to see them for a while. After about 15mins of waiting outside numerous gift (tack) stores while my parents milled around as slow as possible ("Ooh, I've found a lovely mug for your uncles divorced wifes new daughter" - who?!"), I decided that enough was enough and it was time for me to go back to Bledds house and away from the insanity of Christmas for a little longer.
Sunday, I watched two cracking games of rugby with Bledds dad and brother. It was the next round of the Heineken Cup (Europes premier club rugby competition) and my team, the Llanelli Scarlets, overcame previous cup winners and current English champs London Wasps 21-13 in a blinding match! The second match was between the Ospreys and Leicester, the English were eventually too strong for the Swansea based team despite a bright first half. The Ospreys game was the first game back for Golden Boy Gavin Henson after 5 months out injured, he had a great game despite the jeering and wolf whistles from the crowd.
I had fully intended to catch the 6pm train back to Swansea from Haverfordwest but decided to do a small detour and visit my sister instead. Luckily, she had a roast dinner on the go. I took a few tasty slices from the lamb that was still cooking and then headed to the pub to meet up with the King and his girlfriend Myfannwy. The King and I lived together in Cardiff but have lived in different locations for the last 18 months, probably for the best as neither of us are good influences on each other. I had re-scheduled to catch the 8pm train, at 7:56pm I was ordering another round. "Okay, I'll catch the 10pm train".... 10:30pm I was buying a kebab and sharing drunken banter with other revellers. I finally caught the train at 7:20am on Monday... feeling a bit rough.
That's the socialising done until Boxing Day. The blip of Christmas will be over soon enough. I'm undecided as to what to do on New Years - it's usually rubbish. After that, it's Novembers bigger brother and sister, February & March.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
The Golden Arches
McDonalds, it does my bloody nut in. Especially at Christmas.
It just looks wrong doesn't it? Even before you go into detail about the salt and fat contained in one of the buggers. Then there's the obesity that comes from eating too much of it and the risks of you developing diabetes or heart disease in the future.
Do you know what is worse than all of that? The fact that McDonalds exists.
The interior reeks of absolute wrong-ness. There are the fucking bleepy things that bleep constantly, slowly eroding your will to live. Screaming kids chuck fries around. The straw wrappers are fired at the window, ketchup (Because they don't serve Tomato Sauce) covers the tip ensuring the wrapper sticks for a while before sliding off, leaving a small trail of slime. People stand WAY too close to you in the queue while they discuss their 14 year old mates impending pregnancy. The cashiers shoot back with a "You Wha?" when you ask politely for a BIG MAC, a confused look on their faces. Baseball cap donning Kevs seem to have taken over the establishment, probably trying to pick up underage girls to get preganant and then fuck off before the baby arrives. EVERYONE looks unhealthy. The staff are miserable* and I can completely understand why. I can't stand being in there for more than five minutes.
Maccers in trouble again
I've probably consumed four of Ronalds dodgy burgers in the last year, that is a small amount but it absolutely disgusts me. Today, I grabbed my Meal of Ming and ran as fast as I could to get outside - the doors opened and the blast of cool air from the crisp December morning was one of the most refeshing things I've experienced in recent days. I scarpered back over to the office, trying to conceal the white paper bag containing £3.99 worth of fat. I glanced back over my shoulder to see the door closing again, sealing the inhabitants inside until some other fat junkie decides that they neeed another hit.
I wish that everyone would just realise what it is they're doing to themselves when they eat any of the products. I looked on a tourist map of Calgary last year, the Calgary Tower was marked brightly, as was the old fort but, rather distressingly, 32 little golden M's appeared. Thirty Two?!!! And on a TOURIST map?!!
McDonalds meals do have one thing going for them though - they're frikkin AMAZING for sorting out hangovers.
*Apart from one branch in Victoria, Canada - they were hilarious
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Now, where did I leave you lot last?
Ah Yes, Wednesday. I'd recently returned from another jaunt to our beloved capital. Thursday, I returned for more.
Work required me to attend a course in Bristol on Friday so I gave myself a head start on Wednesday night.
Bristol on Friday was pretty fun. I don't get to go to Bristol much, despite it only being 80 miles away. I had printed a map of where I was supposed to go, but luckily our offices happened to be located right on a nice part of the river bank where I'd slept for a while, waiting for a delayed (by 2 hours!) train to London a couple of years ago. Despite the weather being not as agreeable as before, I still had a little wander around. I arrived late and soaking wet (again).
Six of us attened the course, we all felt it was completely above our heads. The course was taken by a Dutch chap who had the unenviable task of teaching me something that early in the morning (9am). His English, excellent as it was, amused me several times - when he couldn't think of the word for how something worked within a program, he used the word 'Magical'!
"There is thish button here, when you presh it, it is magical and the following result appears" (Repeat to yourself in your best Dutch accent)
I might start a campaign to use the word 'Magical' more often!
The weekend started with a couple of pints it a central Bristol bar at about 6pm, Wyn and myself (being responsible Welshmen) shouted a couple of rounds and entertained the others for a while. Wyn dropped me off in Cardiff on his way home and I immediately hopped along to Eirians house where a few of us watched the Scarlets game, in which they narrowly defeated a weakened Sale side 24-23. I'm not entirely happy about that.
Saturday, I had intedned to travel to London where a group of old Uni mates were meeting up. Unfortunately, a friend of mine had fallen seriously ill back in Pembrokeshire and we went to visit him in hospital instead. He was recovering from an operation, but he was cheered up by six of us appearing to tell jokes and funny stories. Poor blighter was in agony every time he laughed though so I'm not sure if we actually had the best plan of attack there...
Eirian and myself had a nice pint in the Farmers Arms in St.Davids, then headed to the rugby club. St.Davids had just beaten Furnace by a point and the boys were all celebrating inside, we joined them for a little while but I was unable to stay long as I had to get back to Cardiff. Eirian didn't make it back, he couldn't resist a night out in St.Davids - that does take a lot of will power though!
Meanwhile, back in The 'Diff, the Phaelon lads were warming up in the George. I joined them a short while later.
We hit the Barfly...
You'll all be pleased to know that I ran into the girl that I had met the other night, it turns out she'd forgotten my name too, we all had a good laugh about it! I also had LOADS of fun meeting girls by asking them if I had walked them home the other night!
We partied at the usual intesity, causing one punter to approach us and ask what we were celebrating... "Err, Saturday night?"
We left at 2am and started walking home, Simon was a little more sober than the rest of us and asked
"Why are we leaving? Barfly is open until 3am"
We turned around and went back in...
Sunday consisted of a GIANT breakfast in Phaelon Towers and an attempt at composing a Christmas Song, with a Punk twist. We were bored.