Monday, July 18, 2005

Beating up 5 year olds

Far to lazy to post today, instead I'll provide a link to the Scrum V website and in particular, the messageboards. The boards mainly contain rugby banter from the four home nations but a few days ago, someone posed the question:
How many 5 year olds do you think it would take to "take you out" in a fight. They are average 5 year olds, half girls, half boys. I think possibly 40-50. No Weapons can be used, just the kids themselves...

It's had me in hysterics all weekend! The conversation started to dry up a bit but this morning someone suggested the game - "How long would it take a 5 year old to eat a badger, providing the badger was unarmed?"

Absolutely bonkers, but highly entertaining! I think I could probably manage about 50 before I got tired and let in a cheap shot to the n**s. I've seen this topic discussed elsewhere on the internet and someone has even gone and defined all the rules!! It's been a hot topic for debate, the suggestions have been amazing! Would the kids be given basic martial arts training? Would the adult be wearing any protection? If Michael Jackson, Gary Glitter and R.Kelly formed a team and armed themselves with "Jesus Juice" - would they be world champs? A primary school teacher on the messageboard has offered to supply the children as long as she gets a percentage of the takings!!

How many could you take before being defeated I wonder?


At 8:48 pm, Blogger Chris Cope thought it was best to say...

I'd say about 50 as well, assuming that I am actually defending myself. If I'm wrestling with them as I do with my nephews -- taking every precaution not to injure -- I think about 10 could do me in.

At 12:36 pm, Blogger Huw thought it was best to say...

Would these infant terribles be biting? I imagine that is a 5 year old's best weapon. I'd like to think I could manage about 50. Maybe, if I picked one up by the ankles and spum round really fast, thereby knocking over the surrounding hordes of kids, I could take on as many as 150. But I wouldn't really like to speculate until I've got some practice bouts under my belt.

At 12:53 pm, Blogger Curly thought it was best to say...

Chris - You would definately be defending yourself, these are angry little kids that really want to hurt you!

Huw - They would most probably bite - 5 year olds would probably have trouble learning too many complicated martial arts moves.

Spinning technique would work fine but I certainly couldn't hold it for long. A better tactic would be to remove one of their limbs and use that as a weapon instead!


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